8 November 2007
When you see your dreams fade away
To me, it hurts more to see my dreams fade away than to have my heart broken…
It hurts so bad that make me lost myself
It hurts like hell when I feel no more hope
It hurts more because it changed me into someone that I don’t know
I don’t find it easy to get myself back on track, try to focus and keep my spirit up,, frankly I find it so freaking difficult just to wake up early in the morning, take a bath and start doing something. I think I’m in the lowest nadir right now. Feels like shit… real es eij ai ti… it sucks!
I really don’t know what I have to do right now,, I think I should find something to do, it doesn’t have to be a real job with annual income, it can be doing something fun, right?...
But I don’t know, I can’t feel anything fun right now except for I don’t know what, could you tell me…?
Sometime I think what happens to me right now is the best scenario that can happens, maybe I still have unfinished tasks or something, I don’t know… or maybe I just do it to my self, tortures that come from me not you or anybody else.
Maybe its all because of me or maybe my dreams really fade away,, Dear God please help me, I really want to reach my dreams please don’t let it slips away… Amen.
*eruma*
Suddenly I remember a line that I used to write in my blue book;
“Erma, don’t stop running ‘cause world won’t stop turning”
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