I M U - I

I know I'm not suppose to tell U how I feel right now. Not because I don't want U to know how I feel about U. Not because U don't want to know how I feel about U. I know that U probably don't want to hear anything from me. And I will be lie, if I said I wish U didn't read this post.

I miss U

I don't want anything from U. I just need to say it (or write it down). I don't care if U don't miss me. I don't care with what she say about U. I don't know her, I don't even know her name. I've known U for almost 10 years I choose to believe in U, even if U lied, I'll still believe in U. I want to believe what we had was real. Even though, it is hard to believe - it is also hard not to believe. I don't ask for your explanation. Once again, I just need to say that I miss U.

This 'I miss U' feeling is torturing me. It is like a chicken pox itch, very itchy but I can't scratch it. If I scratch, it will wounded my skin and leave a scar. I will hold the itch, let it be and it will be gone eventually..

I don't have an intention to compare my feeling to U to an itch. Sorry. I don't know a better comparison for it. Hehehe xP

Anyway, if U happen to read this post, just ignore it. Hopefully, the itch has gone at that time.

PeaceTakecareGoodluck
Erma
8Nov09

What

I just got home, saturday morning.. Couple hours before the sun rise.. A year ago, when I got home very early in the morning, it was because of my workload.

Today, I just got home and I think. What are people looking for in life?
Money? Praise from others? Love? Or what?...

Everybody want to be success in their life. Success in what? Earning money? Getting praise? Living with their love? Or what?

Everybody want to be happy. Is money make you happy? Is being praised make you happy? Is having someone you love make you happy?

What if you were working and earning lots of money but it does not make you happy? Is it a success?

What if you were being praised for something you do not like to do? Does it make you happy? Is it a success?

What if you were married to someone you love but it complicate your life? Does it make you happy? Is it a success?

What is the meaning of success?

What is the meaning of happiness?

Is it being able to accept. what we have in life? Is it a success?

Is it be happy what we have in life? Is it a happiness?

...

Peace Takecare Goodluck
Eruma
6-7 Nov 09

unemployed = menganggur

Nama saya Erma. Saya sudah hampir 6 bulan menganggur,, actually I prefer called it I'm in my "sabbatical break" since I never have an actual break since kindergarten..

Pre Kindergarten - Kindergarten - Elementary School - Junior High School - Senior High School - Law School - Design Course - Work - breeeaakk, next I dont know what...

Anyway, what i've learned so far.. saya tidak sepenuhnya menganggur.. sekarang saya bisa melakukan hal-hal yang tidak bisa saya lakukan sebelumnya, terutama saat bekerja..

Maybe it is the right time for me to take a break so I can do other things that I cannot do before :)

I can take more pictures, go to places I've never been to, experiencing spiritual journey, play with Sipus and be in a right place when my friend need me.. priceless..

I'm grateful with this break.. but I'm not grateful enough if I just being lazy all the time while there is an important thing that I should do..

Dear God,

I am sorry, not being grateful enough for this precious break. I am not doing things that I should do. I turn into a couch potato instead of doing something that I really should do. Now the deadline is near and I have not finished it. I know it is my fault because I lost my hope just for a chessy reason. Please forgive me and help me find my hope and finish this.

Ameen...

a reminder for myself... Erma.. word more less fb! huff,,,

PeaceTakecareGoodluck
Erma
141009

Place of the truth

Some people choose to express their feelings in facebook or twitter. For me, the best place to express my feelings is here.

Today, my best friend asks me how long does it take to get over a broken heart.. To be honest I think it will take forever, since after over a year in a silent phase I still struggling with my not so healthy heart.

That is my honest response but I lied. I told her that her heart will get better soon. I want her to feel better and have her relationship repaired (I'm not sure if it is the right word for a relationship.. Huff wtf..).

Sorry neng, saya abul hehehe xP I just want you to be happy and back on track.. I know it will be hard for you to lose someone in this way -- the way with a damage in your heart -- I believe both of you can find the best way to cope with this situation and upgrade your relationship into a better ship for both of you. So you can sail thru the sea of love happily ever after..

Goodluck Oy :)

Peace Takecare Goodluck
Erma
1octo9

"Love is so short, forgetting is so long." From the poem 'Tonight I Can Write - Pablo Neruda.

U are not a disease

Siapakah kita bisa menyalahkan atau membenarkan

Siapakah kita..

Bukan Tuhan.. Bukan yang dapat menyalahkan atau membenarkan suatu pilihan hidup.

Kita hanyalah manusia yang dapat berspekulasi apa yang sekiranya mungkin benar atau tidak.

Kalau kami memilih untuk berteman daripada berkompetisi lalu memilih untuk saling mendukung daripada saling menjatuhkan di suatu institusi yang membayar kami untuk jadi pekerja, apakah kami salah? Padahal kami tetap bekerja.

Kalau kami memilih untuk mempunyai rasa kebersamaan daripada rasa ingin menang sendiri di dalam suatu lingkungan yang kompetitif, apakah kami salah? Padahal kami tidak merugikan.

Kami bukan pihak yang berhak membenarkan tindakan kami.

Tapi..

Kalian juga bukan pihak yang berhak menyalahkan tindakan kami.

Karena..

Salah atau Benar itu milik Sang Maha.

Kalau..

Kalian menyalahkan kami karena uang.

Berarti..

Uang adalah Sang Maha dari kalian.

Sekali lagi, saya (kami) tidak menyalahkan pernyataan diatas. Saya (kami) hanya berasumsi bahwa uang adalah penentu dari apa yang kalian lakukan.

Benar atau salah itu milik Tuhan, Sang Maha dari saya (kami).

PeaceTakecareGoodluck

Erma
30aug2009

Cin(t)a dari sudut pandang Erma

Cin(t)a adalah film yang menggambarkan kehidupan beragama di Indonesia - yang katanya berbeda-beda tetapi satu jua dan menceritakan suatu bentuk toleransi tingkat tinggi antar umat beragama.

Penggambaran kehidupan beragama di Indonesia yang beraneka ragam tetapi sarat konflik digambarkan dengan sangat rapi dan halus di film Cin(t)a ini. Pembalutan cerita dengan cara romantisme dengan skenario yang mengandung makna yang lebih luas daripada sekedar percintaan antar agama. Sekilas seperti film romantika dengan problema biasa tetapi sebenarnya di dalamnya terkandung penggambaran-penggambaran keadaan realita hidup beragama yang beragam di Indonesia. Tema yang tidak mudah untuk diangkat secara terang-terangan di dalam sebuah film.

Menyimak jauh lebih dalam cerita Cin(t)a ini terdapat penggambaran sebuah contoh toleransi tingkat tinggi antar umat beragama. Penceritaan dimana sesama umat beragama saling mencintai dan menghargai jalan hidup yang dipilih secara masing-masing. Tanpa menilai mana yang salah mana yang benar. Sebuah penggambaran toleransi tingkat tinggi yang sering kali diajarkan di sekolah-sekolah tetapi sulit untuk dilakukan oleh sebagian masyarakat Indonesia yang beragam.

Bagi saya film ini sungguh brilliant. Jalan ceritanya pun sangat realistis dan menggambarkan apa yang sebenarnya terjadi di dalam pasangan antar agama. Bukan cerita film yang menjual mimpi dan berlebihan, melainkan menceritakan sisi-sisi yang jarang tersentuh dengan cara yang sangat wajar dan nyata.

Cin(t)a dari sudut pandang Erma adalah sebuah film yang menggambarkan sesuatu yang biasa terjadi tetapi tidak pernah menjadi bahasan umum dengan dibalut dalam cerita romantika yang sangat rapi.

Cin(t)a dengan apik mengangkat tema keberagaman beragama di Indonesia yang sangat sensitif dalam balutan cerita cinta yang rapi dan mengandung makna yang jauh lebih dalam mengenai toleransi beragama dengan cara yang wajar dan nyata.

Bravo kepada semua pihak yang berperan dalam pembuatan dan penayangan film Cin(t)a.

Sangat cocok ditonton sesaat setelah perayaan kemerdekaan Republik Indonesia, untuk mengingat nilai-nilai pentingnya menjaga persatuan sebagai suatu bangsa.

PeaceTakecareGoodluck
Erma
23Aug2009

Mengeluh

Setelah dibaca-baca dan dibaca-baca lagi... sepertinya saya terlalu banyak mengeluh.. Tuhan maafkan saya ya..


PeaceTakecareGoodluck
Erma

She changes her nails' color

She changes her nails' color

... Let see, will she be able to overcome her problem and boost her mood and have a successful gig? ...

Yes, miraculously she was able to overcome her problem and boost her mood and have a quite good gig. Not bad for a first performance.

Not because she has painted her nails black but because she is surrounded by nice people. They are fabulous artist (not that kind of artis sinetron ya..) Real Seniman.

Meskipun begitu she still feels a lil bit sad. She feels that she needs to write a letter, one last letter regarding the previous problem and others.

Will she write the letter? Will she has the guts to send him the letter?

Anyway, she has learned something today. Keeping positive vibes is a must and good people bring good vibes. It is good for your not so healthy heart. :)

Thank you to all people I met today (160809), you are ointments for my wounded heart.

PeaceTakecareGoodluck
Erma
17Agustus09
Happy bday Indonesia

A girl with red nails

a girl with red nails

She will play in a gig tomorrow.

She should set her mood in positive vibe tonight. But something bothers her mind.

Maybe it's a test. Whether she could overcome the "thing" or not.

Maybe it's a punishment. She has violated her own promise, not to fall in love, again.

She knows that love will only bring sadness and uneraseable memories. She has failed to block her heart. So stupid. Not a clever move.

Now, she is watching one of her fave tv series instead setting her mood into a good condition.

Flight of the concords, the one with Jemaine Clement in it. Even though she knows he reminds her of her past love with uneraseable memories. Another not so clever move.

"I will change the color of my nails, maybe it will boost my mood" she said.

Let see, will she be able to overcome her problem and boost her mood and have a successful gig?

Peace-Takecare-Goodluck
Mohon doanya yaaap..
Erma
15 aug 2009

A girl with shining toes

She wants to sing with u, too bad she sings in a different key..
Both of you are singing in two different keys.

She wants to meet u, too bad she walks in a different way..
Both of you are walking in two different ways.

U don't think she really wants to sing and meet u..
"Why on earth she sings in a different key?"

Peace-Takecare-Goodluck
Erma
-------

Sesuatu yang harus diketahui dan tidak

Ada sesuatu yang harus diketahui tapi tidak semua hal harus diketahui.

Ada sesuatu yang kamu pikir harus diketahui tapi ada juga yang kamu pikir tidak harus diketahui.

Ada sesuatu yang kamu pikir kamu tahu dan ada juga sesuatu yang kamu pikir tidak tahu.

Terkadang saya membuat ribet hidup saya dengan berpikir mengetahui sesuatu, berusaha mengetahui sesuatu dan mengetahui sesuatu.

Mungkin saja saya sebenarnya tidak tahu, tidak bisa tahu atau memang tidak mau tahu.

Harusnya tidak perlu mempersulit hidup dengan mengetahui sesuatu atau berpikir mengetahui sesuatu.

Tahu atau tidak tahu yang penting harusnya tahu mau mengetahui apa dan harus bagaimana.

PeaceTakecareGoodluck
Erma
10 aug 09

We are not flower bouquet catcher girls

At a wedding party..

When all single girls were trying to catch the bouquet, we just stood still near the dessert table.

It was simply because we are not flower bouquet catcher girls.

There are some particular reasons, from a common reason namely "afraid of commitment" to personal reasons such as "I don't have a boyfriend, why should I try to catch it, it just give me a sham hope", "I don't really think to get married soon", "my boyfriend does not think about our future, why should I try to catch it and force him to marry me" and "it is a silly superstitious".

The bottom line is right now we are not the flower bouquet catcher girls, maybe next wed party we will try to catch it.

PeaceTakecareGoodluck
Erma
10 aug 2009

Part 1 - Fish and Bird

...

Let me tell you a story about Fish and Bird...

A fish falls in love with a bird. The fish swims in sea surface to get closer with the bird.

The bird has the same feeling. In order to see the fish, the bird flies low.

They are happy. The fish doesn't mind swimming in the surface and the bird doesn't mind flying low. These are not easy for neither both of them but they doesn't mind at all.

Sayangnya ga semua orang bisa jadi ikan yang baik atau burung yang baik.

...

So it was a lie, then goodbye.

It is not because U are now in a relationship, it has nothing to do with me..

It is because U were lie to me. U should have not said something that U were not really feel to me..

Why U let me feel that what we had for years were real?

Why?

U should not have done that U know.. U shouldn't..

If U don't love me all these years why don't U say so. It won't hurt me back then. It hurts now, when I hear it from someone else.

I really really disappointed to. U and myself for letting this happen.

It is time to let U go. Thank you for making this easier and harder at the same time.

Do U know, if you just told me this at the first place, I wouldn't have to face this again right know. Good for U, U don't have to face this shit, right?! Just like your name... So Lucky.

NoPeace-Goodluck-takecare tonite

Erma