according to me

i think and i do agree with my thought..

loving someone and

choosing someone to spend your lifetime with

is different.. these two things are not related...

according to me..

peace-takecare-goodluck
06april2011

Heyhoooo 2011

it's been such a loooong time i haven't updated my blog... soon i will update it with sort of 'new' theme :P

PeaceTakecareGoodluck

Erma :)

Count your blessings

If I'm not mistaken I read this sentence few years ago.. "Count Your Blessings". Few weeks ago, when I was window-shopping-ing in Ion with Monica Sinaga and Uchie Wohon, I saw a book. The book is basically an empty note book with few lines as an instruction how to use the book. The book is a 'thank you' book. You suppose to write thank you notes in it. KaMon bought one that time. For me, I didn't buy it but the book has inspired me :)

I should've make my own thank you notes in my blog. So far I have Eruma on Love, Whatever and others but I don't have Eruma on Thank You - or something like that,, I'll find the suitable tittle for it later on. I feel ashamed.. After all this time with lots lots lots of blessing from God and lots lots lots beautiful, kind, good people surrounding me, I haven't expressed it in my blog. It's not that I'm not grateful or thankful, I just don't post it on my blog. But from now on I'm going to make special section on this. By being thankful, it will bring more positivity vibe in my life, that's just exactly what I need. :)

What kind of post will be on first section of 'bless' and 'thank you' ?

Just wait and see

PeaceTakecareGoodluck
Erma

A girl - Is it really there?

Love you can't see it but you can feel it. Is it really there?

A friend of mine has a boyfriend overseas. They have been dating for couple of years and only meet once a year which means they have met each other like twice..........

My other friends (actually including me :p) have a doubt. We are not saying that "there is something wrong with the boyfriend" or what but we just have a doubt in our mind.

Yet the girlfriend thinks that they love each other so freaking much and no one can separate them. Even though they are far, the girlfriend feels they are so close. (Ok, with the current technology such as Skype, Instant messenger and everything; it is make things simpler)

Yes it is true that we can not see or feel the love between them, but it just so hard to believe that it is there.

Ok, actually we have a big doubt on the boyfriend and all of us smell something fishy fishy. But apart from that, how come the girlfriend still thinks that everything is okay okay?.... Doesn't she feel something fishy too?

I don't think so.

I have been there. I was in a position of the girlfriend long time ago. It was not like my friends think there was something fishy between us, because if they felt something was wrong, they would have told me- they are my best friends, we hide nothing.

Neither do I. All that time I never felt something was wrong, all the love, lovey-dovey things, romantic stuff, Romeo and Juliet kind of love were there and I felt that - at least at that time I really really believed that all of those things were there and real.

That was like years ago, and I'm not with him anymore now.

Today, when I saw the girlfriend and her situation - I start asking myself : was it really there? I'm not referring to the girlfriend and the boyfriend, I'm referring to myself.

Erma, was it really there? What you had years ago with someone, was it really there?

If you asked me at that time, I would definitely without a doubt - Yes!

But if you ask me now, my answer would be - I don't know.

I don't know whether it was really there at that time or just my imagination or just something that I felt at that time -- or it was something that I wanted to feel with him at that time.

Creepy huh.. Just like a movie called Inception (the one with Leonardo DiCaprio and the guy from 500 days of summer). You cannot separate between what you dreamed of (or what you wanted to feel) with the reality.

It is so creepy... And love is a creepy thing. ~~~~~~~

PeaceTakecareGoodluck

Erma

9 November 2010

Below is a song from TwentyfirstNight - Mungkin. I think it kinda goes well with my post today. Enjoy :)

Procrastinating

Procrastinating

is my habit - its my old habit and now it attacks again in a wrong time. I really really need to finish this as soon as possible so that I can come back home to prepare my wedding (30 days to go). I have turned my laptop on since 10 am and now 10:24 pm I have not write anything :( shame on me. I am procrastinating, twitter and facebook are the greatest procrastinate tools ever, they have helped me to procrastinate.

I keep telling myself that I need to do it and just do it (sounds like Nike ad..) but I keep procrastinating again and again... and right away after I open my Microsoft Word (at 10 something pm, I opened my mic word - at last...) suddenly I feel like talking to someone or anyone or someone (yes there is particular someone that I want to talk to..).

I feel weak..

I never need to talk to anyone before I did my assignments but now... why?

is it just another reason that I make for procrastinate further?

or is it a necessity?

Anyway, now i feel that love makes me weak. It is too fast to conclude that I am in love or what but somehow when i start to feel something for someone i feel weak. and i DO NOT like it.

I do not like this feeling and i better start writing something or anything (that's why i write this blog - at least i write something hehehe xP) and since I cannot contact him right now, i better start writing in my microsoft word - not in my blog.

Ermaaaaa just f*cking do it!!!!!

Erm, JFDI!!!

PeaceTakecareGoodluck

Erma

2 11 2010

....

....

25oct2010
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Soulvibe - Masih

9 November 2010

PeaceTakecareGoodluck

Erma

Relocating Blog

Tumblr is not bad.. hehehe xP I'm also considering making my photo portfolio... Hmmm which one is better flickr or daportfolio..

20102010

".....it is always good to see something from my past as memories that i can always have :)"

*E* 20102010 - http://erm-hah.blogspot.com/

My oh My...

My oh my...

My heart does not feel quite well right now.. cannot tweet it since i have promised *nomore lampautweets* ... I really thought everything is okay okay yesterday morning.. but after hearing something something from here and there, it turns out not so okay okay lah..

I remember when one of my long lost friend told me that i have to choose, it was around two years ago.

You know, sometimes the choice is not that chooseable (i know it is not a word, but you know what i mean, dont you?)

anyway,, i think i don't have to feel like this rite now.. unless i hear something something directly from him.. but he has moved on faster than me so his life must be full of love right now and i am genuinely happy for him.. i wish U love.. all the love in the world...

peace takecare and goodluck,

Erma

"for the sake of my thesis"

lets make this thesis-thing more interesting...

i promise my self when i finish my research proposal i will let the person know that i'm going to get married this year..

i know i've been postponed and postponed in let him know about my wedding, it is all because sometimes i feel that i do not need to tell him but i don't know.. i just don't know..

i want to tell him, i want to invite him to my wed even though i'm not that sure whether he wants to hear or come to my wed.. or maybe he doesn't care at all...

to be honest, i do not understand about 'how to invite your ex to your wedding' -- i think i should googled or youtubed it...

ok.. lets try.....

http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=how+to+invite+your+ex+to+your+wedding&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

what i found were things related to "should you invite your ex to your wed?" ok, that's definitely won't help me.. hahaha xD

actually i have one good advice from a good friend of mine:

he said that "if you want to let him know, just let him know then - now go, take your bb and send him an email - do not think too much.."

that's a good piece of advice and at that time i thought that i should send him an email right away.. but nope... i did not send him the email.

but i will. after i finish my rm :D

previously, i think i don't need to let him know but, just now, after i saw my friendster (yap fs not facebook) page and i felt something missing from it - i change my mind.. i have to let him know.. yes i have to let U know about my wedding.

peace takecare goodluck

Erma

27082010

Love is just a reason

(what I'm talking about here is love between two people - not love for the earth or whatsoever..)

When you are in my age, you will see love as a ridiculous thing.

it is no longer funny or make butterflies in your stomach fly..

it is more like a non-sense reason just to fulfill someone's ego..

When i was young, love is a funny-cute thing that can make butterflies in your stomach fly...

it gives red blush to your cheeks, sweaty hands and happy to the maxx feeling...

But now.. i see love has different excitement.

I'm not saying that love is a bad thing, it is just a reason.

Yes love is a reason for me.

Reason for someone to get what they want.

In my sole opinion, love is a commercial term. People in entertainment and advertisement industries use it to sell their products. You can count by yourself how many movies, music and advertisements inspired by love - then compare with others that are inspired by different matters. This is not bad, they are just using love to earn money. See... love has become their reason to get income.

What i see from my surrounding (probably it is different with yours),

People use love to fulfill their ego (i know its sounds weird... let me explain..)

Love suppose to be a happy situation where everybody is happy, right?

What if you "love" someone but in other hand you are hurting other person? it is definitely not a happy situation. And you refuse to let go your partner because you love her/him - even though you are fully aware that by loving your partner it will hurt somebody else. You use "love" just to fulfill your ego - to get what you want by ignoring other people's feelings.

I read somewhere that there is a theory saying that love is just a reason for human to survive in this world - which is lead to reproduction activities.

So, from what i know and learn up to now - love is just a reason. A reason that is not strong enough to build a relationship between two people. (at least that's my opinion :D)

peace-takecare-goodluck,

Erma

03082010

Moving On and Don't Look Back..

and one day, i look back - once.. just once..

I do not regret it. Sometimes when you look back, you'll find something new - might be interesting might be not. It depends on how you see things.

When you are ready to move on, somehow on 'weird' way the universe will help you to prepare whatever you might face afterwards... Sure, moving on is not the easiest phase in someone's life but it is a phase that everybody must face.

Writing - good friends - music are some of many good companions in 'moving on' phase. However, the most important thing is your own mind. Many people will say that the most important thing is your own heart. But not for me.. your mind controls your heart - that is why you have your brain in your head not in your stomach :D

Yesterday, I looked back on something that I've left years ago.. and I found something.. it made me feel -idontknowwhattowrite- and somehow it was something that I'd wished to happen but yesterday it felt so not right.

Today, I realize that I am happy with my life and what is behind is just a past and whatever happen in my past should be happy too - i know this sentence is quite confusing ^__^

Now i fully understand that I have wished for someone's happiness - someone in my past - now he has got it. I am happy for U.. just like these songs - songs that I always sing for U...

Someone New

I Wish You Love

PeaceTakecareGoodluck,

Erma

28 June 2010

A Shoe

A shoe

A sandal

A footgear

Barefoot

You can have all shoes in this whole world but you can only wear one when you walk.

You can love all people in this whole world but you can only pick one to spend your life with.

You can choose not to wear any shoe or sandal, yes you can choose to walk in barefoot.

I have prepared myself to walk barefoot in this land of love, since I cannot afford the shoe that I have always wanted.

Yes, I still have other shoes and sandals but they are not the one I want to walk with, I rather be barefoot.

I don't mind walking barefoot, what's the different anyway.. I walk, you walk, we walk..

One day I get a shoe. Since I have decided to be barefoot, any kind of shoes/sandals are the same to me.

The shoe is the one that I couldn't not accept, it is a gift, a present and real.

Not like my dream shoe in the past.

Somehow I just decide that I will walk in the land of love with the shoe.. No longer barefoot..

Peace Takecare Goodluck
Erma
25 May 2010

you are my reality;

a gift from God.

22052010

yes you are.

05082010

Songs in my playlist lately... repeat and repeat again...

You know when some people said that "if you want to know what someone feels, look at his/her playlist". I'm not really sure what i feel right know, but i'm quiet sure that i'm so in to these songs lately... and i wish i could hear these songs in my wed (even though i know these are not typical love songs that you'd hear in a wed...)

-in random order-

1. Mungkin - Twentyfirst Night

2. Masih - Soulvibe

3. Adelaide Sky - Adhitia Sofyan

4. Someone New - Eskobar feat Heather Nova

5. Mata Hati Telinga - Maliq and d'essential

6. Hanya Kau - The Adams

7. Blue Day - Endah and Rhesa

8. Reality - Adhitia Sofyan

more songs to add (maybe)....

peacetakecaregoodluck

Erma