A (last) letter for U

Dear U,

I just want U to know that if I feel sad, it is my fault.. I am not supposed to expect U to have feeling for me always..

So if right now or someday in the future U share your feeling with someone U love and love U too, I should be happy for U.

I have tried many ways to get over U. Distance and boyfriends were not work well. Only one near death experience that works to drive me to get over U (and I don't have plan to experience it again). But somehow I always fall back into your gravity. A thing that U have created unconsciously that somehow tied my heart. It is not your fault, I let my heart to be tied.

To be honest, not hearing your voice was not working either... I still let my heart close and tied to U..

After 10 years I let my heart tied to U, now I have to let U go, be happy with whatever U do and not bother U anymore. It won't be easy for me but I am doing it now (not "I will try"--like I used to do for these past years--).

I apologize for things I have done, like hating U because of someone that I don't even know --but I am not really hate U, U know I cannot hate U-- and bothering U for this past year.

I am sorry if I ever hurt U --I never meant to hurt U--

I am sorry if I ever menyusahkan hidupmu selama ini.

I am sorry I cannot be the one.

I am sorry I cannot choose U.

So this is it, after a year I stopped hearing your voice I let U go now.

I really hope that U can find someone U love and love U too, get married and have a good family :)

Take a good care of yourself, be happy with everything U do, don't forget to eat regularly, don't drink coffee too much (any kind of coffee including yang kamu suka yang pait banget itu hehehe xP) and jangan lupa minum air putih setiap hari.

I also hope we can be friends again someday. So please let me know (or not) when U are ready But if it doesn't happen, it is okay. As long as U are happy, I will be happy for U. I wish both of us will be happy in our own ways.

...For U your own way and for me mine...

Ps. I have a picture of you in my facebook, our friend tag me in it. I have not remove the tag, it is actually fine by me. If U feel that it bothers U, U can always untag it. I haven't changed my fb email and password. U know how to access it, right.

See U - I don't know when..

PeaceTakecareGoodluck
****
Erma
200809

... I know there is no guarantee that I will send it to U or U will read this letter --since as far as I remember U told me not to send him anything-- But as I have mentioned in my previous blog "she changes her nails' colors" I just need to write this letter. So U don't have to read it, I'm the one who need to write it down,, hehehe xP Even though U do not read this letter I will always pray for his happiness, always...

...Always like I always do...

...

Till we meet again, someday somewhere..

If we meet again someday somewhere before 22082043 maybe that time is the right time for us to meet again.

When the right time come, I believe both of us are ready to cope with our feelings and be friends or not.

Whatever that is, I will always pray for your happiness and your life.

Peace, take care and good luck.

241209
Merry Christmas to U

...

Wrote in 200809
Posted in 241209
Erma