Eruma On Marriage

Let me describe here what is marriage according to me.

Marriage is an act with purpose/s.

If someone choose not to tie the knot, that's totally fine - as long as that's what they really want and it's reflected in their heart.

I choose to get married because I have purposes. What are my purposes?

My super purpose and the most of the most important is God. Call me 'sok relijius' but that's my highest purpose and basis of all my other purposes.

Involved in a marriage relationship is not easy. It really really takes '*idontknowhowtodescribe*' - okay basically for me it takes everything. That's why in my religion, there's a saying "menikah itu setengahnya agama". If I'm not mistaken ya.. The point is it is not easy, in this relationship, you'll learn and practice (at the same time) how to be grateful, patient, share, patient, loved, patient, understood, patient, patient, patient and 'ikhlas' (I don't know the correct term for ikhlas in english :P )

So, if you aren't married yet don't take conclusion too fast about marriage couples and marriage life because you do not know ~ because you're not married - as simple as that.

If you aren't married yet but want to get married as soon as possible. That's ok. But dear, please enjoy your singlehood life for yours sake. It is fun. When the time has come, you'll get married too eventually. Just be patient, enjoy and relax. Believe that God has good plans for you.

If you really really don't want to get married, please don't judge other's married life, because you don't know (because you're not married). Give respect to married people on their choice to tie the knot. Don't get mad if people expect you to get married, they don't understand and they're just trying to be nice.

FYI. I was 'I don't want to get married' people once. You can search on my previous posts - and you'll understand, if not, just ask me :) But I never looked down on people who get married. And I never get mad or 'sewot' whenever people expect me to get married. At that time, I did what I believed - I didn't have a partner (even if I had at that time, marriage wasn't an option for us) - I didn't live with a partner or depend on a partner - and I don't ("don't" not "didn't" ) believe in love. At that time I really really believed on my 'not to get married' belief. I lived my life freely, independently and most important I stayed single :D (I have more than 1 tshirt with 'single' on it haha :D) During that time I never ever looked down or mocked people who choose to get married. I respect them, I just didn't have the same belief as them at that time.

And now I have the same respect to them who choose to stay single. I try not to get mad or bothered when people mocked marriage life - it's because they don't know and understand (because they're not marriage).

Everyone has their path, choice and way of life. It is not our portion to judge them just because they have different perspective on marriage. Marriage is not a bad thing nor a good thing. It is an act with purposes. So, if you don't have any purpose don't get married then. And don't get married if you have no purpose.

It is your call. Do what you believe and reflect it. Respect others. Do not judge someone/something that you think you know but you don't. You're not in their shoes, don't try to judge whether it fits or not.

PeaceTakeCareGoodLuck

Erma

5Nov2012